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by Rosemary Lee Potter
From the beginning, as in home from the
hospital, children tell us what they want. No, not in words, but in
reactions. You and I, as parents provide the interpretations and
words. The difficulty is that some of our words and particularly
our parental interpretations may be off, or at the least, need
tweaking.
We do know early crying means "I'm wet"
or "I'm hungry." We may not know that we are often misunderstood,
that kids really look to create things and that children are truly
disconnected from the great outdoors! Here are several stories and
their interpretations which successful parents may want to consider
and use:
Story 1: A tiny two-year-old girl who
already loved music was plinking on her miniature piano with gusto.
Her grandmother and mother were preparing to take some photos of
the child when Grandma called out, "Play some notes, honey!"
The small piano-player immediately put her
curly-mopped head down on the tiny keys. Mom and Granny, of course,
expressed concern about this. Was the young lady unhappy about the
request? The answer? Not at all. The little one thought she was
being asked to "play some nose!"
NEW INTERPRETATION: Parents almost always
talk too fast and forget that children are listening slowly or
maybe not at all, just trying to do their best. Plus, we may not
actually enunciate very well or may even let our voice drop at the
end of sentences. How could that be? Children are listening. To
what?
Story 2. When traveling, two teachers were
startled to discover two children happily ensconced on the carpeted
third floor elevator they were boarding. The young boy was busily
writing with crayons on a large folded paper. The girl was sitting
watching him and holding a small electronic device. Beside her were
two water bottles and a bag of chips.
The teachers pushed the button for the
lobby and the doors closed. On the way down they asked if the kids
were holding class. The young lad writing immediately announced no,
he was writing a book! For the rest of the elevator trip the
teachers were reading the "book" -- a crayon list of ALL the things
the child noted at a steakhouse the night before. Proudly, he
smiled as the teachers said he deserved an A .
NEW INTERPRETATION: Teachers and parents,
of course, might have questioned what two grade school children
were doing traveling up and down sitting on the floor of an
elevator? Where were their parents, we'd wonder? Should the
teachers tell the front desk clerk about the elevator "office?" Did
they? As it happened, no.
Yet how could those two parent/teacher
adults have just talked with the children as if it were perfectly
normal to watch a young writer and his assistant at work on the
floor of a hotel elevator? It was so natural, the two adults
apparently temporarily distracted by the surprise experience,
simply got out in the lobby and walked away from the twosome in
that secret, unsupervised place.
Think of it. The amazing thing was really
that there were two children bent and engaged in writing their
observations of their experiences! They'd found their perfect spot
of quiet and isolation (except for occasional elevator users) in
which to work!
Parents and teachers take heed. Children
know they need some away time to play and work; a hotel elevator
probably is not the best place for all the reasons adults know!
Still we all should consider a quiet spot time for children.
However, that's not the only point! Children need some (even if
only somewhat) alone time both at home and on vacation. They are
telling us. How we interpret it is our responsibility.
Story 3. There were once some young girls
greatly desired to go camping and out into the woods. Despite their
parents' reluctance, even dislike of outside activities, most of
their lives the young women did just that, with the result they
knew about campfires, picking wild berries, how to use a hatchet, a
bit about fishing, much about swimming in lakes and even
gardening.
While long-since grown into city dwellers,
to this day, they still don't forget their glorious time out in
nature and still pursue it, say kayaking in a mountain river.
Yet, two city children in one family
recently were heard to make it very clear they wanted very little
of nature, the sounds of birds, cooking over a fire, cutting logs.
The sooner they could get back into the house or the camp cabin
with A/C and TV, the better, comfy couch included. Maybe parents
agree. Maybe not.
The anti-nature attitude may be turning
out to be a dangerous aspect of modern children's lives, their
learning while growing. Their models? Many parents much prefer the
indoor comfort zone too and opt for it -- in all seasons -- even
when vacationing in the wilderness.
Now some child development researchers and
naturalists, are declaring that nature exposure is actually an
imperative for the positive growth and welfare of children. What if
being outdoors daily for even one green hour just to play with a
stick or hunt leaves would likely diminish childhood obesity,
attention-deficit and other serious child health disorders?
Wow!
NEW INTERPRETATION: Here's a book
successful parents should read: A National Best Seller, Lost Child
in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, by
Richard Louv, Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2008. Louv is the
recipient of the 2008 Audubon Medal for this work, an entirely
rational, practical parenting approach, supporting the importance
of ensuring children spend time outdoors daily, that is, besides
playing organized sports alone.
It features a marvelous handy list in the
back entitled: "100 Actions We Can Take." Star-watching; dirt
moving; collecting leaves, stones; sunny days and rainy ones;
hikes; nature games; photography; moth walks; building igloos,
ponds, gardens; even silent observation -- to mention but a few
wonderful and fun parent/child-easy ideas. Get it. Read it. Do
it!
Everything positive parents and other
concerned adults can do to interpret both children's responses and
needs pro-actively, definitely shows how much your family
matters.
© 2008 Rosemary Lee Potter. All
Rights Reserved.
Rosemary Lee Potter, Ed.D., has been a
teacher since 1960, including 21 years at Safety Harbor Middle
School, and is now a reading teacher at Carwise Middle School, Palm
Harbor. Contact her at
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
or by mail in care
of Tropical Breeze, P.O. Box 585, Safety Harbor, FL 34695.
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